January 27: 29 Sleeps To Go
And so after much deliberation, I have decided that the theme of this year’s Omails shall be Awards I Would Give If I Were In Charge, affectionately known as Best Ever Awards Not In ExistenceS, or the BEANIEs. (Contrivance? Moi?) I plan one day to have a little gold beanie statuette. With a pom pom.
I’ll attempt to keep it to one a day, and while it’s going to have to depend on how much I know about a movie, I’ll try—really I will—not to focus too much on Hot Fuzz.
Actually, the best thing to start off with is the following:
Most Annoying Child Actor in a Motion Picture
goes to... Saoirse Ronan (Atonement)
This award was initially going to be named for the Least Annoying Child Actor, but then I saw Atonement (just the other day), and I’ve never wanted to slap a little girl so much in my life. I’m not saying she was necessarily a bad actress, but I do think it’s becoming a bit like “Oh look, there’s a child in a movie who can string a few sentences together. Let’s give her a nomination!” Haley Joel Osment is taking a break from becoming a Rowdy Teen just to glare at the Academy and yell “Hacks!”
Anyway, remember those days when all the kid had to do was wear shorts and look cross and occasionally come out with a nasal line like “Okay, mister.”? They weren’t great days, mind. And I’m not saying I’d like to return to those days. But the fact is it’s difficult to be a child actor and not grate on at least half the audience. If we learned anything from Macauley Culkin, I think that was it (that, and the fact that any intruder to your home can be foiled with a tarantula, a few cans of paint, and a hot poker under a door handle).
As for the actual film—you have no idea how much this pains and surprises me, but—it was actually pretty damn good. This is attributed mostly, I suspect, to a well-written and very involving story, in which the pivotal character acts, reacts, punishes herself, but never quite redeems herself. The film is not without its faults (a bit of residual “Oh, this is pretty scenery, let’s shoot it” left over from Pride and Prejudice, and, you know, Keira) but still. Nicely done.
So let’s look at the awards it’s up for:
Supporting Actress—Saoirse Ronan
Ugh. I sort of hope not. Not that she was bad. She was…well…she was there.
Adapted Screenplay—Christopher Hampton
Not a bad shot at this one, really. I’ve never read the book, but hear on the grapevine that it’s a decent adaptation. I also think it’s quite nicely structured.
Cinematography—Seamus McGarvey
Hmmm. Not sure. There’s a brilliant tracking shot about two thirds through that lasts for something like four minutes, weaving in and out of soldiers, shipwrecks, choirs, smoke, fire, ash, picking up a character, dropping him, picking up another, following him until we meet again with the first—and it’s All. One. Shot. Good lord. So for that, I’m pretty impressed. Otherwise…not sure.
Art Direction—Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer
Meh. It was fine, I suppose, but not enough, in my opinion to beat anything Tim Burton does. I’m just saying.
Costume—Jacqueline Durran
It’s always possible, I suppose. Mostly I get inscensed when I see this category due to a recent poll that rated the green dress that Keira Knightly wears in this film as the GREATEST COSTUME EVER, or something. I mean, ahead of Marilyn’s white dress in the Seven Year Itch, or Audrey Hepburn’s little black dress in Breakfast At Tiffany’s…or Olivia Newton-John’s leather pants in Grease, for heaven’s sake… For this reason, I shall not be voting for it. I told you petty was the new black.
Original Score—Dario Marionelli
I have to say, it’s not bad. Mostly in the way that it links in the intrusive and hungry sound of the typewriter to the percussion behind the tune…it ends up sounding ominous, like a ticking clock, and because it keeps time, rather than getting faster, it creates a constant tension. It’s pretty damn good.
Ok, enough of that.
O
“Dearest Cecilia, the story can resume. The one I had been planning on that evening walk. I can become again the man who once crossed the surrey park at dusk, in my best suit, swaggering on the promise of life…” – James MacAvoy (swoon) – Atonement
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