OBlogs: In which Grace Kelly almost gets a drill through the neck

The producers have turned on the blessed, blessed air conditioning, and it's much more comfortable in the Kodak Theatre.

Anyway, John Hurt is presenting the award for Best Makeup, and this is because his film The Elephant Man was the reason for the creation of this award. And that's kind of special. The funny thing is that Alien, in which an alien burst out of John Hurt's chest in the cafeteria, was not nominated for this award. Swings and roundabouts.

Not nominated.

At any rate, the nominees are:

An American Werewolf in London, 1981 - Rick Baker (sort of a usual suspect when it comes to special makeup effects, Baker was also the first winner of this award, for, you know, turning someone into a werewolf)

Beetlejuice, 1988 - Ve Neill, Steve La Porte, Robert Short (bringing the mad, mad mind of Tim Burton to life)

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, 2001 - Richard Taylor, Peter Owen (hobbits and elves and orcs! Oh my!)

Pan's Labyrinth, 2006 - David Marti and Montse Ribe (for the Pale Man, if nothing else, will become ingrained in your mind FOR EVER)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 2008 - Greg Cannom (making Brad Pitt very, very old, and then young and pretty again)

And the winner is...Pan's Labyrinth! You can tell that Rick Baker is a little crushed but up flashes a picture of the Pale Man and everyone murmurs assent while trying to look away discreetly, in hopes that they'll be able to get to sleep tonight.

A halt is called to proceedings as Rick Baker challenges David Marti and Montse Ribe to an on-stage paint-off! The challenge, to transform Nicole Kidman and Grace Kelly into grotesque versions of Freddy Kruger and Frankenstein's Monster, respectively. Baker is making headway on Kidman, but has run out of knives for her fingers and is badgering Cher for the razor blades attached to her headdress. Meanwhile, over at Kelly's station, she is WEARING those bolts, and Charlize Theron makes a note to accessorise this summer. It's all brought to a head when Kidman and Kelly, alarmed at the snowballing effect of their artists' one-up-manship, call a truce, and the Fantasy Oscar is cut down the middle and shared.

Billy Crystal flicks the lights on and off, calling for order, and everyone returns to their seats. Grace Kelly picks a stray bolt off her neck and Nicole Kidman performs a quick hairdo change.

Up next to present the award for Best Costume is Cher...which is a little awkward, yet sort of appropriate...Bjork is always there, but her swan dress is a little dwarfed by Cher's, er, ensemble...

Roman Holiday, 1953 - Edith Head (never has anyone looked as lovely as when dressed by Edith Head, the queen of old Hollywood glamour)

La Dolce Vita, 1961 - Piero Gherardi (iconic beauty and effortless style, and all of it in a fountain)

The Last Emperor, 1987 - James Acheson (an incredible feat of costume design, not the least because the Buddhist lamas could not be touched by women, and so extra male wardrobe hands had to be hired...)

Moulin Rouge!, 2001 - Catherine Martin (like a costume shop exploded! In a good way!)

Memoirs of a Geisha, 2005 - Colleen Atwood (recreating the fashion-heavy world of the Japanese Geisha)

And the Fantasy Oscar goes to...Edith Head for Roman Holiday! YEAH! Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly (now devoid of bolts and green paint) and Bette Davis all leap to their feet to pay homage (in case you're wondering, they all look AWESOME, and stylistically are kicking the ass of Gwyneth, Halle and Angelina).

Nobody challenges Edith to a costume-duel. That, gentlemen, is how we do that.